Saturday, August 10, 2019

Villain or Dick?

Time for a new series:
It should be obvious to everyone. Villains are always in games, just so we can have heroes. Many RPG villains have this mantra of being a villain. But if you ask me, a villain has to do more than just kill a bunch of dudes. A villain has to be cunning, cruel, but also have proper ambitions and hopes so that they can seem legitimate. In other words, villains who are all about taking over are certainly villains, but those who are more leaning towards destruction and mindless slaughtering are really just dicks. So what this will be is a collection of villains and classifying them as either a villain, or a dick.

Villain: Ten Wise Men - Star Ocean 2
Known for: Being ten rebellious Nedians who use Advanced Heraldry against their enemies.
Verdict: Dicks
Explanation: This should be quite obvious. The Ten Wise Men, yes, all of them, are all about destroying the universe, obviously being the ones responsible for Expel's destruction. If their dickery doesn't explain that, then try the destruction of Ronixis' ship, where they toy with the power of their weaponry right in front of the heroes. You may think that any of these guys, particularly Indalecio, would have some motives to speak of, but no.

Villain: Loki - Valkyrie Profile
Known for: Asgardian who is the God of Mischief
Verdict: Dick (duh)
Explanation: Should this really need explaining? It's Loki. Whether you think of Tom Hiddleston's portrayal in the MCU, the awful blockbuster bomb in Son of the Mask, or this game's Loki, it's all the same. In Valkyrie Profile, he uses the Dragon Orb to destroy both Asgard and Midgard. That alone is nothing but dickery.

Villain: Luca Blight - Suikoden 2
Known for: Prince of Highland, warring bastard.
Verdict: Dick (but his motives show signs of just villainy)
Explanation: It pains my heart to say he's a dick, but he is. Luca slaughters villages, forces people to beg and act like pigs THEN kills them, and has no problems with slaughtering children. He's so much of a dick that those who have positions in Highland (read: Jowy, next on this list) have to scheme to get rid of him, because all he cares for is pain, blood, and suffering. Still, his backstory, how he couldn't have saved his mother from being raped, is a sign of plain villainy.

Villain: Jowy Atreides - Suikoden 2
Known for: Hero's best friend, turned traitor, wielder of Black Sword Rune
Verdict: Villain (but has dickish actions throughout the game)
Explanation: It's amazing how Jowy stands in full contrast to Luca Blight. He gets through some tough crap but ends up in the Highland ranks, devising a villainous but bloodless strategy to take over Greenhill. He also never wants to fight Riou directly, due to them being friends, always wishing for the surrender. But, he did kill to get to the high ranks, is okay with Muse citizens being sacrificed, and has even indirectly been responsible for several deaths including Luca's.

Villain: Krelian - Xenogears
Known for: Long haired pretty boy who does stuff in Solaris and looks at most humans as weak.
Verdict: Villain
Explanation: As convoluted as Xenogears is, Krelian qualifies as a villain easily. He's not one to be a pawn, but he definitely has some control over things, like the Gazel Ministry and Solaris. The lowest creatures are made into food, which is amazingly dickish, but you never see Krelian bothering with it. Also since Krelian is from the past, we also see his motives, he is in fact stricken hard by the death of Sophia, and aimed to create a God himself. A truly villainous ambition, one that did sacrifice many, but one that is just villainous.

Villain: Id - Xenogears
Known for: Being Fei's alternate persona, Demon of Elru
Verdict: Dick
Explanation: I'm probably not gonna get to every single villain in Xenogears, but Id's nothing but an obvious dick since all he is is someone who destroys things and that's all he ever does. He drops submarines on gears, destroys city foundations, and makes Ramsus cry back home or whatever. Heck, he has no real motives, at least until you reach the part where you last meet Grahf.

Villain: Miang Hawwa - Xenogears
Known for: Ramsus' secretary, but also one of three consistently resurrecting personas in the game
Verdict: Villain
Explanation: Hard to classify really. Near the late game Miang is definitely with Krelian all the way through, but as her previous incarnations have apparently done, they've all been villainous and there's no questioning of it. Whether it involves Zeboim's sinking or experimenting on a young Fei, they are villainous and ambitious. Miang's not one to just kill people though.

Villain: Ghaleon - Lunar Silver Star Story Complete
Known for: Being a magical sorcerer, former friend of Dragonmaster Dyne. Also shows up in Eternal Blue as a fake Dragonmaster.
Verdict: Villain
Explanation: In Ghaleon's case, he's a fallen hero, one that quite obviously didn't like the outcome of his journey and what Dyne has done, so he turned to villainy because of it. He basically stayed safe until he meets Luna, then imprisons each of the four dragons and awakens Althena. Not an ounce of dickery in him. Heck, even in Eternal Blue when he seems to show signs of dickery he never goes full force.

Villain: Delita Hyral - Final Fantasy Tactics
Known for: Former best friend, later fighting for the side of Goltana.
Verdict: Villain
Explanation: Delita is a lot like Jowy, they're both former friends who don't wish to fight who they are closest to, yet they do so many things that are villainous, but with proper motives. Delita does in fact kill quite a few people himself, including the aforementioned Goltana, but is still somehow seen as the hero because he managed to gain publicity for keeping the peace.

Villain: Vormav Tingel - Final Fantasy Tactics
Known for: Being possessed by Hashmalam, major villain.
Verdict: Dick (villainous motives though)
Explanation: Part of me really wants to consider this guy a villain, but the problem is, he's obviously possessed by a demon, who clearly is out for the blood and lust of battle. I also remember Izlude, his son, and how he killed his own son during his rage at Riovanes Castle. It should be obvious he's not as villainous as he is more dickish.

Villain: Ultimecia - Final Fantasy 8
Known for: Ultimate sorceress
Verdict: Villain
Explanation: Not much can really be said about Ultimecia. She wants to compress time and space and become a god. Par for the course for much of Squaresoft's villains usually. And compressing time and space is a tad different than just killing people. Her usage of possessing others also qualifies.

Villain Sephiroth - Final Fantasy 7
Known for: Flipping his lid over a book
Verdict: Villain, although he does insane dickish things though.
Explanation: To be frank, I really wanted to think of Sephiroth as nothing more than a dick. All he really did when he became a villain is read a god damn book, and that drove him nuts. But even though he ends up killing or slashing people over his whole origin story, he's got a motive, to really just become the destined one to lead the entire world. And of course, wanting to be a god.

Villain: Kefka - Final Fantasy 6
Known for: Clown general of an evil empire
Verdict: Dick
Explanation: While seemingly just a joke to the empire, he does poison the water in Doma, leading to everyone's deaths there. Big dick move. Then he kills Gestahl and disturbs the statues, completely destroying the World of Balance and managing to become a god himself. Powerful, maniacal ambitions, but still obviously dickish.

Villain: Zemus - Final Fantasy 4
Known for: Lunarian
Verdict: Villain
Explanation: Not much to explore here. Zemus really just wanted to awaken the rest of the Lunarians and take over Earth. At least he's not willing to destroy it.

Villain: Pokey - Earthbound
Known for: Ness's next door neighbor, porky man, rich father
Verdict: Dick
Explanation: Everyone already knows it by now, Pokey just becomes a villain for no real reason. What could it be? Jealousy? Just to be better than Ness at everything? To spit in his face all the time? Hell, he even manages to become a gateway for Giygas himself somehow.

Villain: Gades, Amon, Erim, Daos - Lufia games
Known for: Four sinistrals.
Verdict: Except Erim, dicks. Erim is a villain
Explanation: I mean, they are the sinistrals of Destruction, Chaos, Death, and Terror. For Gades, he's got no issues with tearing cities down. Amon does it worse in another town. You may think Daos is a bit less like his peers but not so much, since he can remote-control people and make them do amazingly powerful things, but not in ways you'd like to see. Erim, as seen in the intro of Lufia 2, is interested to know if humanity can guide itself, and is usually in the guise of a friendly character (Iris) or playable character (Lufia, Seena) just to be sure of what is to be done.

Villain: Lloyd - Legend of Dragoon
Known for: Killing Lavitz, arena champion, Wingly
Verdict: Villain
Explanation: He is seen as a villain with "heroic intentions" despite standing against the dragoons. He will do every conceivable mean necessary to reach the goal that his superior sets out to do. But then he realizes his superior's intentions were not what he wanted, and fights back in order to try and right his wrongs.

Villain: Songi - Legend of Legaia
Known for: Being Gala's rival, siccing Juggernaut
Verdict: Dick
Explanation: All of Legaia's villains are honestly dicks. Jette, Cort, Songi. Doesn't really matter which one I put to be honest. Siccing Juggernaut on a village is just a true dick move, with no really decent motivation as to why he would do this. He is such a dick he kills another villain, Zora, just cause some secrets were revealed.

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