A look back at: Bahamut Lagoon

Huh, has it only been a week? I didn't expect to get through this game so fast, and even less likely to get through a strategy RPG that fast when the battles usually last an hour or more. Regardless, I managed a speedy finish of this game. This is of course owing to this global pandemic everyone knows by now allowing me a boatload of free time to mess around.

So Bahamut Lagoon. It amazingly does some cliche things well before the more famous ones did, despite this game never being outside of Japan. Sky islands? Yep, Skies of Arcadia got beat to it. Same with gay characters, porno magazine items, helpful dragons that are more than summons, something something Harvest Moon, hell Matelite is the original Adelbert Steiner. And his crush on Princess Yoyo is quite crazy come to think of it. Not to mention the love quadrangle between Byuu, Palpaleos, Matelite, and Yoyo, the lone woman here picking Palpaleos, her former captor.

The gameplay twists the Shining Force rhetoric quite a bit to make it worthwhile, the AI of the dragons also helps with battles often if you use it wisely, the main drawbacks I can think of is how much the field skills get used against Byuu alone, and like any other RPG with a main character it's game over if his unit falls. The linearity is compounded by "side quests" which are just places to level up in all honesty, the status spells have varying levels of workability, the regular spells and such get powered up if the dragons are. Basically the dragons are the maker and breaker here, without them this game would be cruel, but there's still some challenge. And of course, the terrain is something to watch out for.

There's just a lot to this game that makes it worth it. It's a certified Top 20 game for me. I'd say Square hit another one out of the ballpark but not out of Japan with this one. This along with Treasure of the Rudras and Live-A-Live were some of the finest to have never seen international release, no wonder they are all recommended in cult followings.

A look back at: The World Ends With You

Well done me, I just finally reviewed my 100th RPG and done some post game stuff, and what do you know, I picked a good RPG for my 100th. Amidst the sea of turn-based RPGs, active-time RPGs, and most other action RPGs, The World Ends With You does something you probably wouldn't have expected Square Enix to actually do. See, they've got quite a few controversial releases, particularly the Lufia 2 remake as well as the Final Fantasy III and IV remakes which I still can't figure out. But TWEWY? Original, fun, innovative, quite difficult but quite rewarding at the same time. And it's even got memes.

Controlling both top screen and bottom screen is key to victory, but damn near difficult. Square, being the tutorial gurus they are after numerous Final Fantasy tutorials, at least make these ones count, since the game perplexes me on a lot of things here. Eventually, I'd learn, then I'd conquer every fight I get into. The completionist in me gave up trying to master every pin, since the drop rates are difficult with the higher difficulties, but I did get the secret reports, Another Day, and all of the jazz and pig noises. Rough, rough times were had here and there, but prevailing through much of the meat is what I live for. Speaking of meat, the food system is quite the difference, as is the outfit system (not that any NPC notices what people wear though, due to plot circumstances).

And then we get the story that evokes shades of It's a Wonderful Life (the game actually was titled that in the Japanese version), but with loads of twists. Who'd think? Brainwashing a whole city using pins from a much earlier day? Circumstances of death? The big bad Composer being one of your three partners and at odds with the Conductor? Another Day completely rewriting character roles for a poor man's Beyblade? God this game went crazy. And I enjoyed the craziness. Helping matters was a fantastic soundtrack too. This ends up being a Top 5 game for me. And guess what? I'm gonna be ranking my RPGs in a future post. Keep posted, folks.

All the aggravating things about Xenogears: Part 3

Final part of this long-ass multi-item rant.

230. Welcome to Disc 2, where a good chunk of s*** has been rushed and many thing will not be explored. Instead, you'll be treated to characters sitting on a wooden chair with a black void with various text and screenshots explaining things that would actually be more fun to experience in-game.

231. In fact, the first two instances of a character sitting in a chair are back-to-back, with pretty much the exact same dialogue with Fei and Elly and their past incarnations as Lacan and Sophia in flashbacks like we didn't have enough of these things already.

232. Now we cut to a scene of our hero naked in a vat with his eyes open. Rather unsettling segue there.

233. Id is now a gameplay mechanic, way to ruin some good-ass suspense there Taura. Also Limiters again.

234. What mobile weapons does Solaris even have at this point? The whole city has been completely compromised after Id destroyed it.

235. Also Citan had an Omnigear the whole time. I'm guessing it must have been on Solaris and escaped via remote mind control as Solaris was being cleaved.

236. Weltall on steroids.

237. Grahf is Lacan and a huge teleporting jerkass who is simultaneously not a jerkass and also seems to know everyone.

238. Unnecessary narration before a seventh showdown with Ramsus, culminating in his sixth failure. Hell, Ramsus gets no dialogue this entire scene, and now he's gone back to actually being trash.

239. Guess what folks? That Mass Driver facility? You'll never get to experience it. All this so we can shoot some Jesus laser into the sky to fix problems for humans on land.
240. So Nisan has gear battalions all of a sudden for a church town.
241. What the heck even is Ft. Hurricane supposed to even be? It looks like a giant metal asterisk! It's also a complete ass pull for Solaris given that the entire nation is pretty much f***ed and without any resources now apart from some reserves.
242. Also Bart taking the so-called Yggdrasil IV pretty much ensures that Kislev is out of power for its main amenities.
243. Said Jesus laser mentioned earlier removes the Limiters from everyone, but at the same time allows for those incredibly unlucky to undergo painful transformations. It's complete luck that absolutely no one with a character portrait succumbs to this.
244. So you're telling me the Wels are the true form of humans? Everyone's true form is zombies?
245. Another location never visited -- the Soylent System. Not necessarily related to the same one in Krelian's lab either.
246. Why did a bio-monster decide to show up all of a sudden? No reason given!
247. Elly's cutting of her hand to drop blood in the monster's mouth was utterly futile and unnecessary. I get the monster could be sentient at this time but clearly nothing was gained from this.
248. Elly being a reincarnation of Sophia ends up being a Mother Teresa clone.
249. Really would love to not see more scenes of Gazel Ministry talking s*** no one knows or cares about.
250. Of all the s*** that ends up being playable, the Omnigear subquests get interrupted by the last we see of recurring characters, starting with two fights against the Elements, the gear fight is stupid enough because apparently the four share one control stick in their combined gear.
251. In a scene on the villain side, Ramsus still thinks he's the only one to beat Fei despite having lost six times.
252. Ramsus decides to use Elly as bait yet again, and we even see the Gebler Five who are clearly on Elly's side and of course no one wants any of Ramsus' s*** since the guy he seeks is clearly not at Nisan. But he still continues to dick around until he finds his arch-nemesis.
253. Seeing the flashbacks involving Ramsus is just painful. And then we see more of the Gazel Ministry's insults and the reason he exists, which as complex as it is he's a character Square decides to make you feel bad for.
254. The puzzles in the second Anima dungeon are just too stupid.
255. Of course Rico is the next in line to be the Kaiser, what other connection do you guys even need besides the whole "Rico trying to assassinate him earlier" deal because Sigmund easily recognized who that guy even is!
256. I can't tell who's a villain at this point although I know Cain obviously isn't one. Also the spinning image world where Cain is ceases to exist, but both Ramsus and Krelian are okay afterwards.
257. Dan, Joseph, Gad, Hyuga's Asher, Ramsus' Zebulun, Krelian's Judah, Sophia's Dinah, Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Issachar, Grahf's Naphtali, what the f*** am I even reading?
258. So now this key makes more people turn into zombies and mutants, but this time for a brand new Rapture. You guys might as well be destroying the world physically instead.
259. Again, it's pretty much luck by lottery that no one with a character portrait is afflicted by this.
260. Square loves the floating evil continent cliche.
261. Immediately the game segues into a bombshell where Elly now has to stay behind. No excuse for this part except for Fei to be a huge dick to her. And then to really even the score he flat out bones her.
262. Clearly what Grahf meant when he said destroy God was destroy its Latin incarnation known as Deus. This doesn't really imply that the world of Ignas is monotheistic, since we have Nisan and the Ethos believing in other gods. Ignas is polytheistic!
263. Jesus how many weapons and starships do our enemies even have?
264. Citan thinks he's just fine while Fei and his partner try to defeat Grahf and all. Surprisingly he's never targeted at all during this ordeal.
265. The Gebler Five know that Elly's mission is suicide, but she still goes!
266. That's not Elly's Omnigear, that's Sophia's Omnigear! Are they even the same thing?
267. The "men" that Krelian are with are Executioner clones, and the Executioner was female.
268. Cutscene boss fight that actually would have been much more fun if we actually could play it.
269. Grahf then shows up after Elly gets taken in order to just insult Fei. You could just end him there like you wanted to earlier.
270. The villain ball is getting so ridiculous at this point that Krelian just wants to stay ahead, at least we won't have to worry about a whole bunch of f***ing pronouns from the Gazel Ministry anymore.
271. Wiseman also shows up to be Mr. Demotivator.
272. It apparently takes two weeks for the group to find where Elly is despite Krelian could have done basically anything to her at any time during that period.
273. The two statues appear again for no discernable reason.
274. Seventh battle with Ramsus, the hardest, but thankfully the last. Poor guy gets back to that flashback and how he's trash and you guys just have to rub it in.
275. So Miang decides to go for Round 2 after beating her but uses the power of unfair cutscene abilities to basically liquefy and eat the Anima Relics.
276. We interrupt a boring exposition act to bring you Ramsus chopping down two former subordinates, because apparently being considered trash for so long flat out ruins his freaking mind. Predictable.
277. Although Krelian somehow survives being sliced by Ramsus long enough to say some stuff, and Ramsus and the others are clearly in cutscene PTSD for the exposition to continue.
278. Perhaps this is the most convoluted exposition in any game ever. So Miang, now in Elly's body, is the Mother of all humans, and she and Krelian need to go with Deus. How exactly can we even follow this stuff even if we've been trying to follow it for the last eighty or so hours.
279. Merkava just decides to nuke places for no good reason.
280. For the third time, it's a complete luck of the draw that no one important to the plot gets raptured.
281. And Shevat once again tries to take out Fei with the carbonite freezing because they are so scared s***less of Id.
282. Boatload of flashback exposition about the past lives of Fei and Elly, mostly dealing with Sophia kamikaze bombing during a war. This will be pretty much the extent of Disc 2 stuff at this point until the final dungeon.
283. Follow up with an "in the mind" cutscene with Fei's inner personas. Apparently there's a fourth, even though that's gonna be proven false later on.
284. Lacan was an artist in his time! Who else saw that coming!
285. Roni and Rene show a lack of originality on Square's part by taking the middle names of Edgar and Sabin from Final Fantasy VI and shoving them into flashback characters no one really cares about.
286. Sophia is still named Elly for some reason. And she's also "playing the role" of Sophia which for all we know is just a Mother Teresa role in the middle of some Middle East-style conflict that has airships and giant robots.
287. Krelian was friendzoned back then. And of course that was pretty much the reason he's a villain.
288. So you would create god with your own hands, Krelian? Why not just do what Kefka did?
289. Miang then pulls Lacan in like Emperor Palpatine did to Anakin, after somehow taking a ghost apparition of Sophia's appearance.
290. You thought you saw the last of Dan huh? Just putting him in to rub Fei in after all. Also there's no prison guards down here.
291. Of course Id's awakening is gonna break out of the carbonite. Shevat can't keep up with the times.
292. Buckle up for Fei trying to reason with his inner conscious as we see more blue void scenes.
293. So Id decides to suck up a boatload of power for being in an embryo with no explanation? Also Zohar does nothing but watch.
294. Fei's father was a workaholic while his mother ended up being a bitch later on in life and did some probing. No wonder Id was created.
295. Also young Fei apparently survives whatever experiments he had been tested on, but other test subjects die?
296. Fei's family is so complicated. For Miang to show up, basically any woman could be Miang as it was with Elly, but not only does Miang's conscious migrate to another woman like it did after Ramsus stabbed the other Miang, it also makes them go into a smug bitch mode. Also Fei's father is Wiseman although we'll be seeing more f***ery later.
297. It also makes no sense that Grahf, a previous incarnation of Fei who was Lacan, shows up in front of Fei.
298. Also Super Saiyan mode and blame shifting as to who killed mother.
299. Major flashbacks to Fei's other previous lives where he and his Elly incarnations still die.
300. We then get a major exposition cutscene and mission statement from a mysterious green blob that won't be seen again.
301. Okay I am SO confused. Why was Fei in his father's gear all of a sudden after the mounds of cutscenes? And now his father, who was Wiseman, is also somehow Grahf too? Despite all the cutscenes of the two fighting it out? Is Fei his own father? None of this adds up!
302. Fei then uses god abilities to go back to his own gear, never doing this again for the rest of the game.
303. True Weltall? Original Weltall? I give up.
304. Oh wow, so Fei was the sole survivor of the ship from the prologue? And he's the one monologuing all of this scene.
305. Shevat never thought to use the Excalibur against Solaris at all during this time period.
306. Our heroes are just the worst at everything it seems. Overdoing it normally isn't even a problem but somehow it is in this game.
307. Now Deus is gonna pull a Galcian from Skies of Arcadia and do the Rains of Destruction.
308. A sort of classic cliche at work here. Ramsus thinks he sucks ass but then his main support was with him all along. Although all I can gather from this is potential fanfiction of Ramsus banging the Elements.
309. Hahaha no, no "miracles" please. Those miracles clearly only happen due to the hopelessness of everyone who isn't a party member.
310. Duneman Isle subquest is populated by Tusken Raiders as if this game cannot rip off Star Wars any more.
311. The movie in the Zeboim culture smells of 1940s WWII propaganda movie stuff. Fei also talks exposition during this thing and even points out who Miang is.
312. The Kim flashback is more cringeworthy than it looks. Nice city, nice stuff, Kim bitches about people like Fei's present incarnation did in the forest so long ago. This basically leads to the creation of nanomachine Emeralda like a complete ass pull.
313. So you're telling me Emeralda apparently hits robot puberty right after that flashback? She's made of nanomachines and can shapeshift into basically anything! Why can't she just do that any time?
314. Just getting inside Deus immediately gives us a map, which I guess proves helpful, but already you can tell a sense of dread from having to deal with a long-ass final dungeon for a long-ass game.
315. Dropping down a tunnel of lasers makes me want to play Star Fox or some other rail shooter instead of Xenogears.
316. Four mini-bosses before big boss cliche.
317. Also after defeating the boss, there's yet another moment of hopelessness until Fei's chosen one gimmick comes in.
318. Also Zohar is the power source for every Gear. Imagine that.
319. Prepare yourselves for a naked biblical Adam and Eve epilogue! Also more exposition from ghostly Krelian before one final boss fight with a mutated Miang like we really needed it.
320. So wait, Krelian is a good guy now? I can't follow this after what we've seen with the whole Soylent Green s*** and all his actual villainy.
321. Why does Elly even trip? Why does Fei even do a love tackle? None of this makes sense!
322. Cam Clarke really didn't get much to voice on in Xenogears given just how few scenes in the game even had anime cutscenes with voiceovers.
323. Let's not forget, despite potentially "dying" here, Krelian manages to "die" happy since he got exactly what he freaking wanted, to walk with God. He's no Kefka, but still, he gets away with all the s*** he did.
324. For whatever reason, despite being trapped in some other dimensional place, Elly and Fei also make it out to meet the crew.
325. Doesn't Chuchu speak English? It shouldn't be saying its name over and over like that in the ending.
326. Episode V? What were the previous episodes?

Total aggravation count: 326

Yeah, this game is long, aggravating, and just all-around messy with so much crap in it. So memorable for what it's got.

All the aggravating things about Xenogears: Part 1

Man, do I rat Xenogears out a lot. It's got wonderful stuff in it, but no game can come out unscathed, especially if you're Xenogears and rushed through Disc 2 because of some Final Fantasy VIII things that happened. This will be a three-parter, Disc 1 up to the Thames, then after that until Disc 2, then Disc 2 itself. Think of it as counting the many sins of this game.

1. This prologue is pretty nice but it makes me want to play Star Ocean 2 instead.
2. Let's also not forget that we will not see the wrecked spacecraft or the importance of the naked girl for, let's see, about 50 hours at the fastest?
3. Exposition! Xenogears is among the worst when it comes to mass exposition of things. Prepare to be lulled to sleep with the masses of text.
4. Aside from the huffing Fei's first word in the game is "damn" which is almost a telltale sign that this game is pretty damnable.
5. Oh wait it was a painting by the real Fei! Wow this guy loves painting apocalyptic stuff! Sounds like a creep. What's he doing in a backwater village painting a disaster zone? Could he be a disaster?
6. Well he apparently is yet another cliche amnesiac.
7. The early-game has several interesting key items like Midori's Ring, Mermaid's Tear, and the RPS Badge. Stuff that should be saved for wayyyy later when you the player have practically all but forgot them.
8. While I'm pretty sure healthcare is free in backwater Lahan why oh why is Citan's residence on top of a sole mountain path? Imagine if someone had like no legs and had to cross a path full of wolves and hobgobs just to get a treatment. Even moreso, is Citan a doctor or a mad scientist because we see a cliche explosion of a crab robot already in place.
9. Apparently the breaking of a tiny statuette is enough to say that an omen is about to take place.
10. Instead of helping evacuate citizens like a healthy man Fei stares into the soul of an empty Gear like its his own.
11. Why does the bigwig of the destruction group like to hover in with arms crossed and just stare? Just ruin Weltall's day instead of staring.
12. The best way to make Fei go nuts is to just a kill a dude he knows, yet there's no indication that they would know. Fei flat out loses it just because his allies get toasted, then they just watch as he inexplicably toasts everyone.
13. Yep, there are a s***load of flashbacks.
14. That pistol Elly uses in a cutscene isn't going to be used for the rest of the game. Instead we just have her using a rapier of sorts.
15. Also overly cliche girl gets attacked and gets immediately saved by potential male love interest.
16. Bash the tree, Fei, like that does anything developing.
17. So who's fault is it for destroying Lahan? Fei clearly did it and admits it but doesn't admit it, while Elly was at the scene but also somehow unseen.
18. And also who's the coward? Why so much philosophy when you got young people playing a fairly edgy game? Another flashback too.
19. Elly somehow doesn't get devoured but gets cradled enough by a goddamn dinosaur to pass out.
20. Citan-ex machina immediately follows.
21. Citan later assumes that with Fei laying on the ground, he will have a private conversation with Elly that won't later be mentioned by Fei.
22. Xenogears throws a boatload of terms that get used in just about every context, even throwing them in hyphens just because. Whatever happened to just coloring the text differently? The hyphens are more of an eyesore.
23. Why does the Dazil receptionist not charge Fei and Citan for the sand buggy? Shouldn't he have a quota back home to meet or a family to feed?
24. Instead of chilling out at the bar Fei decides to go desert-walking, lucky not to get stomped on or shot or questioned by the gears bouncing around him or dying of thirst, even managing to carjack a motorcycle.
25. Grahf is all cool and amazing for a villain when he first makes his real introduction but he gets relegated to being nothing but "power" for the rest of the game. Not to mention his ridiculous outfit along with his whole idea of killing god and destiny like we obviously don't see it coming sooner or later. For all we know Grahf chews scenery all day.
26. Fei just won't stop having flashbacks, even when resting in a prison.
27. -Time- and -Gospel-, more hyphenated terms that serve no real purpose or will be remembered as much as other terms.
28. Bart, clearly being one with an eyepatch, thinks it's a great idea to slap on one on his Brigandier gear like it is metaphorical.
29. They survive the quicksand drop.
30. Old man dumps exposition, what's new?
31. Ohoho, Balthazar immediately suspects god-slaying gear and then decides to shut up not to say anything!
32. Calamity clearly gets back up only to be destroyed in a cutscene-specific power Fei will never use again.
33. Apparently the pirates have a lot of children they need to be kept fed.
34. Fei getting all angsty yet again. Xenogears is a game about this guys emotions and pretty much nothing else important.
35. If Fei enter's Bart's room and triggers the cutscene where Bart enters, how exactly does Bart not see Fei in his room the whole time when there's obviously no hiding spots?

36. Game then decides to throw in not one but five villainous characters out to attack pirates and kill children.

37. Also Citan clearly can just pilot some random gear without knowing of any specs it would have.

38. Also here's a trend, five lackey dudes in their own gears followed by much stronger boss, prepare to see this at least twice afterwards.

39. Xenogears apparently decides to introduce four new villains once we reach Bledavik. Two bald guys, one with a stupid purple cross on his face for no inexplicable reason and is an airhead and two officers with crazy popped-collars that would actually probably block off circulation to the neck.
40. How come Shakhan hasn't tortured Margie enough on the information for the Fatima Jasper already? I mean, just threaten her own life instead of laying back and watching her sit in a room all day waiting for her to let something slip.
41. Clearly everybody knows Bart as the prince despite the obvious takeover by Solaris.
42. Also why does one woman have to leave her window open for trespassers to jump through? Burglars get in that way!
43. I'll give the gang credit for how to get Bart inside the castle, but you would probably think of two things, one is that Fei is clearly well known as a God slayer at this point and has accidentally destroyed a village, which clearly is shown once Miang takes note of him, and also because Bart has to swim up-current through some expansive sewer system which realistically speaking is impossible to do.
44. Prepare to see Big Joe a lot. Also he can't fight worth a damn, obviously, but he does cheat and allow his fans to throw s*** at his opponents. Dude's somehow lucky to have reached the second round.
45. Also isn't Citan supposed to be cheering for Fei?
46. Isn't this tournament supposed to be martial arts only? Why is this Scud person throwing s***?
47. The final fight of the tournament against Wiseman basically involves Fei missing over and over while Wiseman does nothing. He must have some pretty badass techniques to get it this far, but now he's clearly not doing anything and forfeits. Imagine having your money bet on that mysterious dude.
48. Also Fei could have done nothing against his fight with Dan to get the Wedding Dress item and the crowd never booed him.
49. How do healing spells miss? I don't like any implication of missed spells in any RPG, especially not healing spells.
50. Bart vs. Ramsus fight is just absurd. Why are Margie and Miang not even targets for any reason but do support roles?
51. The moment Fei drops in Ramsus clearly has a PTSD flashback. Also gonna count the times Ramsus gets his ass beat because it happens more often than anyone.
52. How come the nameless Gebler goons chasing Fei and Bart don't have any guns to shoot?
53. They also don't bother to sweep rooms and just run down the halls Scooby Doo-style, so once Elly sends everyone to her office, they're basically safe.
54. Fei clearly doesn't realize that being jobless would hurt Elly, she has to keep it, at least for now.
55. Chuchu's whole point in being in the game is being absolutely nothing but another example of why we shouldn't have furry mascots in serious JRPGs.
56. Xenogears loves to throw characters who know each other around all the time, even when you seem to know just about enough of a character to know that their role is generally minor. Also Sigurd really should wear more than a half-shirt.
57. Margie definitely is not only too young to be a pope, but is clearly not wearing what generally should be considered pope attire. Meanwhile, all the Nisan nuns clearly wear nun attire, so what gives here?
58. Don't forget to remember the two statues in the cathedral, yet another foreshadowing point!. Also a PTSD flashback because!
59. Ugh, boatloads of exposition and no real playtime.
60. Well at least they plan tactics ahead of time. Only problem is that it will all be seen by the enemies not too soon afterwards.
61. Mandatory boss rush against enemies we have already dealt with.
62. So the best way for Elly to appear as an enemy to Fei requires two things, one is another expository flashback, and two is to make her go insane by taking drugs and talking all hammy and s***
63. Fake giant robot sex scene happens shortly after that.
64. Failed coup? Check. Failed rescue attempt from firing squad? Check. Aveh troops decide not to open fire as the stupid thing walks around and jumps away? Check. Come on guys, there were like eighteen of you that could just fire at any moment.
65. Square clearly wanted to convey Vanderkaum's blockheadedness in more ways than just being a bald dude with a purple cross on his face.
66. Grahf Power Trip #1, and this happens after Vanderkaum gets kicked in too, this is just so the guy will explode anyways.
67. Or to give Fei an excuse to BSOD himself when his allies get killed in battle. That's somehow a little worse.
68. Id flat out asks if Bart is strong instead of curb-stomping him like he does everyone else. And this is usually a man who is just not polite at all.
69. Ramsus survives this. Also second time ass beaten.
70. I am pretty sure it isn't cheating to throw a warship on Id considering that you can't beat Id's red gear anyways.
71. How does Citan know about the Dora? This guy practically knows everything in Solaris it's surprising he doesn't have a superior position there.
72. Also Bart and the entire crew survive the warship drop.
73. Cut now to Kislev's world leaders, where villainy or not-villainy takes place. Also prepare to spend potentially another twelve hours trying to get the hell out of the prison dump.
74. Also huge spherical ship that should not even be conceivable, not to mention weird masked...woman coming out that we do not see until much later on.
75. Rico's idea of a baptism involves one-on-one fights with the new kid, which I guess is fair but you look at the characters in battle and they just turn into forest elves. Except Suzarn who basically portrays a very feminine grim reaper.
76. Also another hopeless fight, although this one comes only after the expository crap involving an outside voice and Rico lamenting that it's the first time someone "injures" him.
77. Somehow Hammer is such a big hit that Fei needs him for the plot.
78. Why does Ms. Cohen even need two bumbling idiots near her? With a good authority and status I don't think she even needs bodyguards.
79. Fei once again laments using Gears to fight, but inevitably will end up doing so regardless.
80. Citan clearly has a lot more authority than anyone to even get into Kislev as a doctor without any sort of trouble.
81. Or a bomb collar for that matter, yet he somehow makes it so that Fei's bomb collar can explode at any moment. Which meant that to be quite honest, Fei's got a s***load of luck never to have that thing explode over the course of the entire Kislev arc.
82. Ugh, the Gazel Ministry. There's practically nothing a normal player can even figure out from what they're talking about, especially with all the damn air quotes being thrown around.
83. It should be damn obvious at this point that Weltall is Fei's gear, so it's hardly a surprise that that's gonna be what he battles with.
84. And in the first round Fei's opponent cheats and heats up Weltall. Fei survives this, but him being comatose is gonna result in some disastrous consequences.
85. Also what are two of Rico's subordinates doing in the sewers after battle? Just stay at the lounge!
86. So Rico and Citan clearly are pinning blame on Fei for murders in the sewers, all because the subordinates don't like him that much. Yet another contrived coincidence people will forget until the moment it crops up yet again in the story.
87. We interrupt the actually fun part of a Xenogears minigame for an obligatory sewer dungeon, one of the absolute worst in any JRPG may I add.
88. Adding in a dungeon map actually does nothing to help traverse this travesty of dungeon, sorry Xenogears, you tried.
89. While the conversation between Cain and Citan can be just as annoying as the Gazel Ministry's musings later on in the game, I will give credit where it is due, it's easier to follow. But at the same time Cain is pretty lenient on the whole Fei thing moreso than he ought to be.
90. Elly apparently doubts the overkill aspect of her Aerods, even though they are quite effective when used basically anywhere.
91. Breaking the fourth wall by mentioning a save point? Especially this late in the game where I could have done so already? Really?
92. Another bottle of exposition, Wiseman brough Fei to Lahan! And he also knew his father! Also Shevat! So much dumping! It only gets more complicated from here.
93. Wiseman also says stuff about attacking weak spots on a gear, but fighting off Stier isn't really doing much other than just doing what you're doing before except it'll take longer. Not to mention a simple "try again" upon losing.
94. The Goliath looks exactly like Chrono Trigger's Blackbird ship.
95. Fantasy communists are quite affable fellows that you would imagine Sigmund having a particularly big role in possibly helping Fei, but then he gets sidelined, almost entirely because of his relationship with Rico.
96. Rico's plan of hiding from the Kaiser involves actually talking to two guards about the Kaiser calling them up, even though his appearance should take precedence and that he tried an assassination attempt on the very same Kaiser.
97. Yay! Flashback again, this time with Rico, something that will never be explored for the rest of the game.
98. Obligatory train-top running section with breakaway carts.
-98. “My super ultra great delicious excellent dynamite bomber special DX beautiful wonderful ultimately rare buy complete merging undefeated transforming I was going to put in a glass case in my home priceless Minigear!!” Hahahahahaha, this alone is worth a point off from the tally.
98. God I hate boss rushes, especially fairly pointless ones where all five of those duds decide to just prolong things. Fei even knows this is meaningless.
99. Let's all pinpoint the part where Hecht is dropping out of the sky and not one but three gears are holding it up as much as possible using jet thrusters to stay aloft. Remember this for later.
100. Rico joins Fei's group in leaving Nortune but tells him that once they are out then he can be let off wherever is convenient. Yet he still sticks with the group for the rest of the game regardless and is pretty much completely sidelined.
101. Big Joe apparently studies the same teleportation and fading mechanics that both Wiseman and Grahf do.
102. So when Grahf ambushes the Goliath and Citan manages to tilt the wing, how come only Grahf and his gear fall off?
103. Of course, we cannot forget that Gears can fly now, can we?
104. Really? The "Bart Missile"? Work on the names bud. And the impulse to shoot them.
105. Once again, everybody important including Bart and crew survive the Goliath/Yggdrasil II crash.
106. More vague s***-talking from the Gazel Ministry starring Cain.
107. I am pretty sure it's next to impossible to actually catch fish by using kung-fu to make it hit the dry scrap you and Elly are on, Fei. Besides, fish will swim far out to sea if they feel threatened enough.
108. Also it's clearly gonna be raw and not steamed or fried or however else fish is usually served.

To be continued...

A look back at: Treasure of the Rudras

Well I uh...

You know, it's either this title or Rudra no Hihou, which is where I looked at the guides from. Regardless, if it wasn't for the Mantra system in this game, this would've been another boring and generic turn-based RPG. This magic enscribing system, honestly, you don't see it anywhere else as far as I can tell, and it's the kind of system that actually manages to work very well. Yes, you can enscribe endgame magic in the very beginning, but unless you have a hell of an MP pool, and especially if you're playing as Sion, you ain't gonna be able to cast these spells in combat for a while unless you level up. Then again, there are still some powerful mantras if you cheat and look at a guide, meaning that the strong spells only cost a measly 1 MP and can still cause enough pain.

And then I give credit where credit is due. It's often boring always being in control of one protagonist on the field, as I have clearly stated in my last blog post. And Treasure of the Rudras offers three protagonists to follow, allowing to switch at any time. And then it comes together at the final scenario where Dune is the apparent party leader, but by then I'm not complaining since the final scenario is your average boss rush before the final boss. Making matters much better asides from switching at any time is that the scenarios intertwine at least twice before they all come together, and there's no rivalries between any of the characters aside from what Dune and Cid sometimes do to Sion and Surlent. Well what I mean is that there's no infighting between the character parties.

Looking back at the main plots of this game, well there's only one that is actually interesting to some degree. Sion fighting in a tournament? Yep seen that one before, but it does have a nice plot twist. Not to mention the floating continent business afterwards. Captain Taurus, a noble knight and semi-father figure being an evil cultist all along? Sure, okay. Riza's whole deal with being Chosen? Purifying the lands, skies, and oceans? That's something I'm pretty sure people have seen before, although because other characters are doing other things while Riza's doing hers, it's a strong example of this Chosen business, since these other characters are of course wondering who is healing their planet. That and the start of the game and the fact that everything's bathed in warm colors as if there hadn't been a single iota of blue skies for days adds to the bleak atmosphere being cured.

Surlent's scenario seems boring at onset, since he's doing research with an old guy. Who plays a JRPG to do research? And then he actually dies. Surlent is an unfortunate hero in this game as his research not only leads to his death, but even worse problems when he's tricked by actual bad guys into getting sealed so they can zombify the aboveworld (although they only reach one town). Like any other hero who screws up, he at least sets things right eventually. Though the branching point on trading with Sion for treasures can result in an almost even worse fate for Surlent as well. Very nice touches there.

This game definitely has loads of characters, though not everyone is explored. I would like to see some potential romance blossoming, obviously between Garlyle and Riza, or perhaps Sion and Foxy to an extent as well. We also don't see much about Pipin and Lolo's travels before they join their respective parties. And Sork? He had just one cutscene owing to his past with Captain Taurus. So we really could've used more out of him. The jadebearers naturally get the most out of all of this. I personally wish the epilogue could've been done better in that regard, considering how the four all should've went home to their friends they left behind. I guess they do that? It's not really seen. Still though, at least Riza convinces Dune not to repeat bad history.

A look back at: Vagrant Story

You know I still maintain my stance when I say that Vagrant Story stretched the PSX to its limits. I maintain that.

Wow, an extremely difficult action-RPG, you can pretty much lose yourself multiple times to this game due to how difficult it is. Almost all of it entirely due to the Risk system, which flat out limits Ashley's combat abilities. Bam, now you are missing multiple times, taking more damage than you should be. What good is increased critical hits when you can barely hit at all? Many bosses and even many random encounters are elongated because of this one mechanic alone.

And then you have the matter of everything else this game offers. So many weapon types! So many enemy types! Chaining attacks and defending via the action commands! Good lord. You almost have to micromanage everything in this game to even get past one area, picking this axe to kill beast enemies, then this sword to kill undead ones. And then you have the workshops, perhaps the one place to really utilize your equipment woes even though it's insanely complicated. Worth it if you really want to get either those high rankings after every boss or if you are just trying to get through things.

And that's not even scratching the surface. Block puzzles are super unique for this game and quite the puzzlers overall, with many kinds of blocks to push around. And then there's the matter of timed dungeons, which push the player back should the time expire. One of which is an entire dungeon in itself, with several optional rooms of treasure, and a boss at the very end bout ready to rip your head off. Not to mention a few enemies that somehow have instakill abilities, a big no-no when you only control one character the entire time. New Game + offers much more challenges with a few new dungeons.

And then you have this game's plot and its memorable characters. Man, action-RPGs do know how to do this, even getting the blood from the mouth across. Ashley's past is enough to haunt him, as well as whatever Sydney does in general. Despite being on the cover, Callo's role isn't really much at all, even Hardin, Sydney's henchman, has a more awesome role. I'll admit that Sydney's anti-hero role stands tall against Ashley's anti-hero role as well as other characters like Rosencrantz and the big bad, Guildenstern. Nothing in this story is happy at all, but it's worth the look and certainly worth the gameplay to see this vagrant story, hurr hurr.

A look back at: Brave Fencer Musashi

And here I was thinking that Great Greed was the only one game I would play with satirical food names being applied.

So yeah, I mentioned Brave Fencer Musashi quite a bit when talking about Threads of Fate. Both are definitely action RPGs with their own nuances. However, I liked the way Brave Fencer Musashi played a lot more. Two swords, both with different advantages and disadvantages, as well as powerups in a number of ways. Either it's Legendary Armor stuff which I don't care much for since those are equips, or those other ways of reaching areas such as Crest Magic used by Lumina or the rather interesting concept of taking enemy abilities by throwing and assimilating them, a la Kirby or Megaman. Not to mention the combo moves. Unfortunately jumping takes a precedence for this game, and there are even special gameplay moments that almost feel like quick-time events. One very interesting mechanic this game has is tiredness, which actually almost balances the abilities that Musashi is capable of doing. Since he's a lazy oaf, he can just fall flat on any surface and sleep, regaining some of his combative abilities in the process. Quite cool!

Well as I said, they just had to make things food-based. The main town and kingdom just so happens to be named Allucaneet (read: all you can eat). Though we have a cool contrast here. The evil empire? Named Thirstquencher. So it's food vs. drink, wow. Only there's not a whole lot of character depth overall. You break bincho fields which contain some of the food-themed NPCs, and there are only three villains with drink names (the Leader's Force people don't actually count). Though the villains can be quite comical overall. Ben is just the Kronk-like big guy while Ed seems like a threat but his stammering and demeanor show he's not serious at all. Bubbles and Gingerale pretty much are at odds with each other. Fuhrer Flatski at least seems decent despite just being a traditional Fuhrer (they just HAD to use that term though) but he naturally gets flattened at the end. Capriccola/Jon was probably the most well-done character. Musashi, and later on Kojiro, are from a different place altogether, yet one is hellbent on the other and the other one is just tasked by the Kingdom to do their tasks. Of course, with ONE of the swords having to have something sealed inside it, it really does end up cliche. The different side-plots were good though. But this whole plot was quite fun to go through as was the gameplay and so far as far as Playstation action RPGs go this one isn't one to miss.

A look back at: Live-A-Live

This is an example of a game I'm really glad to have played. I heard quite a bit of Live-A-Live, it's numerous styles of gameplay, and what you could do within it, as well as the amazing final chapters of the game. Indeed, this is one they pretty much keep you glued to, because until you get to those final chapters, you're not getting the full experience out of this game.

It's difficult to describe just about each and every scenario in the game. The grid-based combat system is an oddity, but one that works well for some actual tactics, along with a few abilities that need to be charged, which makes for one tactical sort-of RPG that actually manages to fair rather well. But that's not what makes the game good. It's the variations on how things work and how you get into battles, as well as the storylines in each chapter go by. The random encounters are a thing only for the final chapters, and that's the only minus they have. For other chapters, they are a number of different things, whether it's finding animals via scent, playing some mini arcade-game for no really good reason, selecting which opponent to fight in the rings, or playing a semi-stealth sort of game where you can choose whether to kill everything or no one.

See, the seven separate storylines all have their main plots of importance. We see during the present time Masaru's drive to be the greatest fighter in an almost Ash Ketchum-like fashion. We see the prehistoric chapter be nothing but comedy given how no one really knows how to speak at all in that time period. We get to see the badassery of the ninja Oboro as he chooses to annihilate the leader of the rival clan. The Western chapter has some bandits invading a town, and two rivals work together.

Now all is not set for some fun, comical, action-oriented plots. The ones I described above actually are the most mild ones. Mechanical Heart, the future chapter, is definitely not this, as it is a survival horror story where you actually control the robot Cube, and things go wrong on the ship which cause people to die. Blood Flow somehow has an even worse premise, where people from places such as orphanages get liqueified in some ritual. The Kung-fu chapter may be the saddest of these all, given how the old master needs to find students, and while he finds three, two of them die, and then the master does as well at the final conflict, meaning the last student now is the only one who mastered that Kung-fu art.

But all these don't even compare to the final chapters of the game. The hero of that chapter, Oersted, is fairly standard. The chapter in itself is fairly standard. But the utter deconstruction of this cliche plot proved outright amazing and made me love it. It shows just how bad it is when everyone started to hate Oersted, and then of course he decides to become a villain because he really doesn't have anything else left to say for it. The final chapter, you either play as him and his incarnations against the other heroes, for two bad endings, or as any of the other heroes, where they can team up and such, find separate dungeons, and, well, yeah, Odio himself. It's absolutely amazing how Square managed to pull off so many great plots in one game, but they did. It's too bad this one never did in fact make it out of Japan. It's a game that really would have been respected for doing so.

A look back at: Xenogears

Oh Xenogears, you are certainly a game I thought would be absolutely excellent given your potentially amazing storyline and your amazing music. God, I loved Knight of Fire and Steel Giant, and was excited to hear them as battle music along with lots of other music. Plus tons of memorable characters. But do I often focus on storyline all the time?

Yes, I'm actually surprisingly not a fan of the gameplay as much as I was led to believe. The gear combat and the on-foot combat have their ups and downs, with the numerous abilities actually being quite taxing, especially when concerning gear combat and fuel. The game has its hands full with actually annoying dungeons, such as the Tower of Babel, the Shevat staircases, and possibly the worst of all, the Kislev sewers. Add to it really annoying random encounters and this game was a grind in its own right. Add to that the annoying bosses, such as Ramsus in a lot of places, and that evil bastard Redrum, and wow, I just find so many reasons to hate this game. On the plus side, having different button combos for deathblows and combo attacks is nice, and the gear combat minigame, albeit required, is actually quite fun.

So yes, the plot. This game absolutely loved the idea of several philosophies, which naturally is NOT my field of expertise. You look at Fei's freudian personalities, and how they are quite screwed up. You look at how characters like Rico and Billy have very interesting side plots that are quite tragic in a number of ways, but afterwards they are forgotten rather quickly. You look at how Fei and Elly have been reincarnated as multiple reincarnations of a couple, and then get confused when Grahf not only is one of those incarnations, but also inhabits the body of the current Fei's father. You look at how Citan is a traitor/non-traitor in a vein that makes Lando Calrissian look like an amateur. You wonder how Big Joe always likes to show up in random places. You get tired of recurring fights, such as the Gebler guys, the Elements, and Ramsus. You get very confused at this Gazel Ministry and how you never see who they are or what they do, as well as Krelian in general. You gloat over Disc 2 and how it all apparently was rushed, with characters just sitting on a chair narrating things.

And yet somehow, Xenogears still manages to be interesting. There's some nice pride in the Yggdrasil submarine and all it gets capable of doing. There's nice fights where you are controlling characters other than Fei (obviously because he transforms into Id or is otherwise incapacitated). The whole beginning of the game is a fantastic deconstruction of the destroyed hometown attribute, where a friend who is brutally murdered ends up triggering Fei's bad side and completely destroying the village he was in. There's Elly's apparent switch of sides, Bart and Sigurd's connection of their missing eyes, and the whole monstrosity that is humans turning into Wels. It's all very interesting stuff. Between all the philosophies and mixed gameplay, Xenogears is worth at least one play. But given how long it is, given how convoluted the plot actually becomes, and considering how it is the fifth of an apparent non-existent series that unfortunately never really saw the light of day, I really want to know more. Even if I don't want to play this a second time, there's always something interesting to find in Xenogears that prevents it from being absolutely horrible.

A look back at: Secret of Evermore

One of the most interesting games I've played, a Western RPG that plays very similarly to its similar games in Secret of Mana, which I still haven't played along with games in that series. Yep, another Action RPG, but actually quite slow-paced too.

Secret of Evermore is a game I remember most for it's amazingly atmospheric soundtrack, one of the greatest soundtracks ever, with memorable songs in just about every location. It also happens to have a case of "accidental plot" where the boy's dog runs off and he chases him to a lab, where things happen and he ends up in a totally new land. Actually, let's talk about these new lands. They are all interesting locales involving ancient areas, well except for Omnitopia which is naturally a futuristic setting. Enemies obviously match the setting, and apparently the dog does too, becoming a different breed of dog each time, up to the robotic jet dog in Omnitopia. Battling enemies in this game is actually somewhat interesting, gotta charge your attacks to really do damage, and the alchemy system here uses up several kinds of items to create good magic spells on enemies. Provided the player continues to search these items, they end up being useful for many things, not just fighting. And there's even this huge-ass market where a lot of things can be bought or sold.

Well the characters do manage to be interesting apart from a boy who likes crap movies and his shapeshifting dog. It seems the residents of the boy's town are not only sucked into the portal too, but also three other residents are sucked in, and apparently have evil clones of themselves too. These evil clones aren't really fought, but are still enemies. I'm also rather glad that the main scientist, Sidney Ruffleberg, is actually a good guy who was trying to make something chess-related, but naturally it backfired and he clearly seems like the guy to atone for what he had done. What bugs me is that the robot he screwed up apparently was his own butler. That's just so far-fetched and unbelievable, but it needed to be deactivated to finish this plot up. And then there's the matter of getting the other residents out of this weird world so that the stability stays the same. Yet there seems to be this sequel hook at the very end which really begs me to wonder if this game would ever actually get a sequel.

Overall though, Secret of Evermore is above average in every aspect, not really the most amazing thing ever of course, except in music where it definitely is amazing.

A look back at: Threads of Fate

Ah, the very first RPG I reviewed. Not necessarily the first of which I've played, but certainly the first I've reviewed. I will take a look back at my old RPG reviews and smack some more sense in them without spoiling things like I did back in TheTopTens.

First of all, I sort of just found this game while browsing GameFAQs lists, so I have that to thank. And boy do I have to thank them for finding a rather interesting action RPG to flummox through. It's a pretty strong example of one for the Playstation alongside Brave Fencer Musashi, which I actually liked more, but I enjoyed Threads for what it's got. The thing to note is that it's never got its sequel, despite (okay spoilers here) the real ending actually hinting at a sequel. Perhaps this is one of the lowest points of Threads of Fate, it's lack of a sequel. Should that really count as a low point though?

The premise of this game may seem cliche to the typical JRPG player such as myself. Two playable characters, each on their own distinctive journeys, are after this "Relic" for two completely different purposes. Because of this, the premise manages to do wonders. See, you won't be able to play as both characters at the same time, you go through one character's story, and then when done, go ahead and play the other one if you wish to do so. And speaking of characters, they are not the only really good ones. I consider good characters to actually be memorable, at least in the scope of the game, and Threads of Fate has plenty of important characters filling different roles. You have that kind family that you see often, the four-man villain group all of which actually manage to be different (although the Master title for each of them sucks, it's revealed they have real names, so that is actually quite an eye-catcher there). You also have a few rival characters who are fought, all of which have different personalities, goals, and what not. Static characters rarely if ever appeal to me, but it seems like Threads of Fate was made with the idea that every character is dynamic in some way and that's outright appealing.

The two plots of Threads of Fate intertwine, with Mint's silly goal of world domination coming into contact with Rue's more serious goal of getting Claire back, both of which involve that same relic. Yet that coming into contact is at the very most a friendly rivalry, both manage to cooperate to get closer to both of their own goals, while other characters like Belle and Duke provide the hostile rivalry in comparison. And it works out well considering everyone in some way is a determined individual. Some goals aren't fulfilled properly, of course. Mint in no way can actually achieve world domination, let's go with that. Rue on the other hand will get a much happier ending.

Gameplay is always the most important part of a game for me, and this game is...alright. I have to be honest, I'm not too good with Playstation platforming and this game actually has that. The platforming bits in the ruins, the "play area" and in a few boss fights get on my nerves, and Threads of Fate has quite a ton of boss fights, some of which come rather abruptly. Also certainly not a fan of character-specific dungeons, but it's not too big of a deal for this game. What is is the different methods of attacking. Rue's in particular, he can transform into the monsters he defeats and use their abilities. Meanwhile Mint is a fast magic user who actually is more known for jump-kicking people. The game can get real difficult, and Rue even gets an unwinnable boss fight, but overall though, the gameplay is mild and unique given what it combines into its core gameplay.

And the music? It's absolutely wonderful. I don't really need to explain this though. So yes, I do in fact recommend Threads of Fate to an aspiring RPG enthusiast.