Yep, another Top 5. Isn't it strange how RPG heroes tend to be the most dynamic individuals? You watch them do things in-game that makes you think, hmm, maybe that wasn't a good idea in hindsight, although it gets the job done and alleviating overall party and world anxiety. Some heroes are pretty dumb though. This list will count down heroes that I found to be the most idiotic, as even though they are heroic in a sense, they are easily ratted out by party members or others who pretty much are smarter, party members who despite their loyalty, know that these heroes can do much better.
This list was pretty tough to put together. For one, silent protagonists pretty much don't count. I also decide to use characters that aren't the main character, because they try in their heroism or what not but fail in the end. And just so you know, quite a few notable characters don't make the cut. Justin from Grandia isn't the brightest kid at all, his lust for adventure tends to get him in trouble, but he at least is competent enough to be more heroic than idiotic. Meis from Thousand Arms is another one, showcasing idiocy when trying to look awesome in front of a girl in the beginning, but you don't see much of that later in the game for it to qualify. And Sailor Moon? Surprisingly Sailor Moon: Another Story shows the title character at her most heroic, moreso than any other form of media featuring her.
5. Laguna (Final Fantasy VIII)
This serves as a slight spoiler for me, but I am actually in the middle of playing Final Fantasy 8 while typing this. So I don't know literally everything there is to know about Laguna, but from what I have seen of this guy, he belongs here. How he managed to get into the Galbadian army amazes me giving his overall attitude, falling head over heels over this woman, and naturally failing at expressing his feelings. And even before that, he causes a traffic jam. He's pretty much the butt of jokes from Kiros and Ward, but his real stupid moment comes from the second time you control him. Okay cool, let's trigger some traps for enemy soldiers to fall into, then eventually you still have to fight a few, which wound the hell out of Kiros and Ward. So Laguna, who presumably also gets injured roughly but not as bad as his comrades, reaches a cliffside. His comrades are in considerably worse shape, then Laguna spots a window of opportunity below. What does he do? Plunge his friends down the cliffside into the water while they are nearly dead. Of course, he jumps off too. But you should never do that to your friends. It's absolutely miraculous how all three of them survive, but Christ, this guy really doesn't have the ability to be decent.
*UPDATE* Laguna isn't entirely that idiotic. Naturally, he's an "at heart" person who doesn't really use his brain all that much, and after he had quit the military he ended up being a rather fatherly-like kind of guy to Ellone. In other words, he's fully light-hearted, and somehow manages to come up with a brilliant, albeit somewhat still stupid, strategy to liberate Esthar from Adel, then becoming the president of the land and managing to rule it surprisingly well enough. Because of this, he and Stahn switch places on the list, but what he did during the Lunatic Pandora dream sequence cannot be unaccounted for, so he still remains an idiotic hero.
4. Stahn (Tales of Destiny)
For some reason, and I'm not entirely sure why, Stahn is considered to be the token idiot hero as far as JRPGs are concerned. Though I don't really think he should be the prime case of an idiot hero, he still counts as one. Since Cless wasn't an idiot in the first Tales game, they decided to make Stahn the guy who gets the abuse from party members, or to be more specific, his talking sword, which he just finds and somehow the two are mutually bonded. Some of the other party members do rat out his stupidity at times, but none so much as that sword of his. But they do make fun of his heritage a lot, angering Stahn just because he's a country boy. I say who cares. Stahn's not really too idiotic, but when it comes time for a heroic stand, you shouldn't spend most of your time sleeping. This is why he's on the list, due to the fact that he's such a heavy sleeper, apparently you have to rudely wake the guy up. Real slow, pal.
3. Snowe (Suikoden IV)
It's hard to judge Snowe. On one hand, he stands opposed to the main hero of the game completely after the events involving the Rune of Punishment, almost as an anti-hero sort of character who you end up fighting due to being on opposite sides. On the other hand, he's under the belief that what he does is the right thing entirely, no matter what it is. Then when the pushing turns to shoving, he's all cowardly because he doesn't want to stand defeated against powerful foes. Now, it's quite amazing, because Snowe certainly shows he wants to be a fighter, as seen in the opening of Suikoden Tactics and the first few parts of Suikoden IV. But he's got no strategy. Diving headlong into a battle isn't gonna do wonders, neither is the aforementioned faking of an injury. Once the main hero is exiled, Snowe is somehow put into command, and naturally his attempt of heroism by selling Razril out to Kooluk fails when the townsfolk all want him out. All this because he believed this was the right thing to do. Then again, maybe that wasn't entirely as bad a move as his other ones, since other options would have been far worse in that case. Again, a very hard character to judge. He's doing what he thinks is best, but no one else thinks its heroic at all.
2. Danette (Soul Nomad & The World Eaters)
I really wanted to put someone in between Danette and my #1 pick, but I couldn't find any worthwhile idiots, so Danette is #2. You think going up against a big bad World Eater is gonna earn you a lot of brownie points? Well, you'll need a lot more power to beat one, Danette. And besides, you're not the one with the cool evil guy inside you. The same guy who calls you a stupid cow* because you don't understand situations you're in and are pretty much inconsiderate. Amazing, Gig can backlash this lass and not get killed, since that would kill the main character too. And threatening to snap peoples necks really wears off after a while. Fun fact: Danette never snaps a single person's neck in-game. Her dive into the one-way portal leading to Drazil with the hero defines how wrong she makes things, so much that later on the main hero has decided to call her "Dumbette" due to her ineptitude at keeping hidden. It's just amazing how she's somehow got a terrible backstory with her parents and Crimson Tears that you sort of feel sorry for her, yet she still does some dumb things in-game.
1. Wain (Lufia 3)
Oh man oh man, I really don't want to say it, but people really do need to understand sarcasm. Repeatedly, Wain is not a character that does. Not helping is the fact that his first companion is the one to call him stupid all the time. Seena's not the only one, but she does it repeatedly, even upon meeting just about every new character that joins up. Heck, when Dei is first met, this is how Wain loses sight of him, by being called stupid. Perhaps before that, we have another really stupid moment, by insulting Gades. Now, you shouldn't insult a Sinistral in the Lufia world, and even Seena does this too, it's amazing how the two manage to survive against the big guy afterwards. And then, of course, falling for Seena's obvious trick very late in the game, how she was bad all along, one last "You really are stupid" coming in from her. In a surprising twist though, despite all the stupidity and the betrayal that came upon him, Wain's victory ends up with him and Seena being happy together. I find this amazing, mostly because unlike Lufia in Lufia 1, Seena was pretty much a full-on snark character, especially one who knew about her past and everything. Tricking Wain might just be another thing on her mind even after the game is over.
*Another fun fact: Danette is of the Sepp race, which is a hybrid of a human and a cow. The insult makes complete sense.
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